This is Emergency Services as its Defined on a Community Services Boards' Web Site

Emergency Services/Crisis Counseling is a State mandated program. This unit provides short-term crisis counseling and referrals to individuals on an emergency basis. Emergency and crisis response services include: telephone interventions; face-to-face assessments and evaluation (including pre-admission screening); psychiatric consultation and other clinical consultation about mental health, substance abuse, and special populations which include children, adolescents, geriatric, people with mental retardation, and individuals involved in the forensic system. Emergency Services/Crisis Counseling is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Everything on this website has been thoroughly examined, reviewed, evaluated, and ultimately approved by The Citizens’ Committee for the Advancement of Rational Thought and Actions in Virginia's Mental Health System….

Things Sure Aren't What They Used to be..Conditions Sure Have Changed

coming soon........

Monday, December 17, 2007

If our agency became a construction company, what would our ads for carpenters look like?

Just for a moment or so, I'm going to pretend that our agency became a construction company and emergency services became the carpentry unit. If we were honest and forthright, here's what our ad would look like when we were trying to hire additional carpenters.

Wanted Carpenters

Established company wants to hire carpenters. Other than one other smaller company our pay is the lowest. Our benefits are the worst in the carpentry business.

However, whether you have carpentry experience or not, if you have a masters' degree in biology, we will pay you more than our regular career carpenters.

Please note, that we at times hire part-time workers. And yes, we pay them more than our career workers, if they work holidays.

I guess we need to tell you that at times we don’t have nails for you. And, at times we don’t have hammers. And at times, we have neither. Yes, we know that for most carpentry work these are necessitates; however, we’re sure you’ll be able to…well, you know. Handle it.

Don’t be discouraged by the lack of hammers and nails; remember, we have new trucks for you so you can get to the job sites in comfort.

Please rest assured that we are having meetings about the lack of hammers and nails. We’ve formed several committees; however, until we have more meetings and form more committees…well, just do your best.

As we are sure we’re going be inundated with job applications, we’ve setup a phone bank. Please call 1-800-NoThisAin’tAJoke

And, remember our motto, Fairness to All……..

PS. In fairness (remember, we’re the fairness company), we also need to let you know, when you work overtime we aren’t going to pay you…and, there has to be at least one carpenter available 24 hours a day.